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Sunday, 15 July 2007

  • the awakening.  is there a moment in your life where you suddenly realize that you have unfulfilled dreams?  is there a time when you feel like you haven't achieved anything to be proud of?  somehow i feel like i am experience mid-life crisis, which once again reminds me of my 'I will have a short life' prediction which my closest friends will have heard before.  it's really time for me to do the things that i really want to do, and not adhere to what others want me to do.  life is too short.  you'll only be 22 for one year, and then you will never be able to catch it back.

    random procrastination.  the cab was taking me from amman airport to madaba, where i was to buy a mosaic piece for my father.  on the way were rolling hills and farmland... not amazing rolling hills, but nice enough for me to start day-dreaming.  so i was holding a cigarette in one hand trying not to get ash into the cab, and gazing out of the window at the fields of green.  then i started thinking... if everyone returned to the fundamental basics of life, perhaps some millennia back, the only people who would survive on this planet would be farmers, hunters and basically people who can find or grow food.  in addition to that, those people must be living close to a natural water source.  if we were one day stripped of all modernity (no electricity, no phones, no cars, no supermarkets...), how would anyone survive?  all the survival skills that we might have learnt from outward bound or such... would they be of any use?

    and then i moved on thinking about the art of law.  lawyers get paid so much money because they are professionals; because you need a degree (and it's hard to get).  when you move to a less sophisticated country like bahrain, you will realize that the rule of law that we take for granted can be very undeveloped and be overthrown easily by powers of authority.  for example, a local guy was speeding on the highway behind you, keeps on flashing his headlights to tell you to shove off, and then hits your car from the back.  let's say the impact was quite serious, but he was more injured that you are.  in hong kong, according to traffic law, it's nearly certain that the car that hit you from behind is at fault... but here, you (as a foreigner - let's say you were Indian), would be put into jail without any questioning.  you will be able to make one phone call, and then stay there at least one night, before you know what's going to happen.  the supposed 'law' only protects it's own people, and if you're not one of 'them', you must have good bucks to get yourself out.

    another thing i heard just today.  it is a trend for the locals to live off credit card loans... so they use one card to cover this, one to cover that, and happily be in debt all their lives.  they live rather extravagant lives, buying expensive cars etc, but their wage could be much less that what me or you are earning.  so my question to my friend was, 'so what happens when they can't pay the money?'  that was when the shock came.  when they really can't pay the money, they appeal to the government.  they tell them their situation and perhaps after some senior official's authority (obviously with some money paid or some good connections), the government helps them pay all the money back.  so why would anyone possible wish to work for their money in this country?  why would anyone be stupid enough to work so hard to earn money, if the government will support them no matter what?  so in the end, banks and loan sharks lose on this one - and mind you, there need not be loan sharks in bahrain.  hmmmmmm.

Tuesday, 10 July 2007

  • 人其實每一天都有大概六萬多樣的概念和想法走進腦袋裏﹐而當中的百份之九十五以上都是跟前一天一樣的。 舉例﹕我今天起床的時候覺得很累﹐作天也是這樣。 再例﹕我今早想了一想今天穿甚麼衣服上班﹐想了一想午飯吃甚麼﹐想了一想"我是不是很胖?" 那麼想東想西都以是一個習慣。 如果我們今天擔憂這樣那樣﹐明天都會是一樣嗎? 如果我們今天試想想多一些開心的東西﹐明天也會嗎?

    人的腦袋是很復習的﹐而它的潛能是難以想象和估計。 多些跟自己單獨相處﹐多些跟腦袋聯繫﹐或者會發現自己的潛能慢慢地浮現。

Sunday, 08 July 2007

  • 過多兩個禮拜我就要離開巴林﹐有小小唔捨得。 過去o既一年令到我成長o左好多。 睇o野睇多o左﹐睇闊o左。 自己每一開車返工放工﹐自己洗衫燙衫﹐自己去旅行。 雖然我唔可以話我而家好獨立﹐但係一定被以前獨立o左。 其實好多人生要學o既o野唔係一言一語就可以形容倒。 你如果同一個人相處耐o左﹐就會自然睇得出。

    我知我雖然唔捨得中東﹐但係我亦都唔可能逗留更耐。 始終我都要返屋企。

Thursday, 05 July 2007

  • 今早開車的時候﹐在收音機上聽見一首歌。這是我第一次聽﹐但令我想起我作天的日記檔。歌曲明叫'If I Ain't Got You', 主唱Amy Diamond。 我根本不知道這個歌手是誰﹐但這首歌的歌詞真的說得對。

    Some people live for the fortune
    Some people live just for the fame
    Some people live for the power
    Some people live just to play the game
    Some people think that the physical things
    Define what’s within
    And I’ve been there before
    But that life’s a bore
    So full of the superficial

    巴林的所有都是很土的﹐連電台播的歌都是幾年前的'hits'。這首'If I Ain't Got You'是2005年的歌。還記得有一天電台播了我很久沒聽過的'Truly Madly Deeply'﹐令我又一次想起中學時候的片段。歌可以舒情﹐亦可以令人振奮。香港很多歌星都曾經說過:'我歌說我心﹐我要唱D有意義的歌﹐影響世人'。但係真正有幾多做到? 這不是容易的﹐但很多歌星都墮入了主流的深谷。有一位歌手被自己的歌感動到每一次唱都會忍不住流眼淚。這位歌手我很敬佩。她就是謝安琪。

Wednesday, 04 July 2007

  • 今天起床的時候還記得剛剛發了的一場夢。過了短短兩個小時就忘記了。

    準備出門口的時候﹐忽然望到我好久再沒繼續看的書﹐明叫'賣了他法拉利的和尚'。想起看過的幾十頁。。。其實每個人都曾經有一刻想過做這個和尚。

    原本他是美國某投資銀行的VP﹐忽然拋掉所有物質上的一切﹐到蒙古某高原閉關修行。他拜了一位高僧為師﹐學會很多很多做人的道理。幾年後他返回美國﹐跟朋友分享他學會了的一切。雖然我沒有看完這本書﹐但它的概念我深深感受到。如果人們可以退一步看看自己的世界﹐就會發覺我們以被物質矇閉﹐而擁有這些物質以經成為了自己人生的目標。人生的目標應該是這樣的嗎?

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